Bar Symon Meets Dogfish Head

Here's the thing; I'm not a "foodie".  I don't like anyone calling me a foodie either.  It sounds like something you say to a baby for crying out loud.  "Jason want some foodie?  Here comes the choo choo!"   I will Never say "Om nom nom nom" because frankly it makes anyone that says it sound like an asshole.  I don't use terms like "my palate" or for that matter talk about the contrasting flavors of the __________ to the _____________.  It's just not my thing kids.  I eat, and from my frame I do it pretty well.  What I know is what tastes good.  I also know people watch far too much food television.  I don't think it is a bad thing because without the Food Network Bar Symon might have never been made.  I just think it turned a nation of folks into Professors at Le Cordon fucking Bleu.  I am not a Professor.  I am a blue collar Clevelander with 40 years experience eating everything this town has to offer.  I lucked out and got to take part in a food pairing at Bar Symon with Dogfish Brewery last night.

Bar Symon is located in Avon Lake in an unassuming strip mall on Walker Road.  A giant metal pig sign beckons you in to know you are coming into the realm of the Cleveland king of pork, Michael Symon.  However while Symon physically was there this was pretty much all about Matthew Harlan tonight who runs the kitchen at Bar Symon.  His influence was felt in the all the dishes served.  The bar itself is a vast open space with high ceilings with tables, booths, and patio seating options.  The decor is elegant yet cozy.  The bar itself is a decent size and can fit I would think around 20 people.  They have well over 20 beers on tap as well as a ridiculous selection of bottle choices.  They range from a $2.50 PBR draft to a $65 bottle of Cantillon Lambic and everything in between.  The crowd was hard to gauge but it was more 40's than 30's.  I kind of felt young there which is a good feeling pushing 40 myself.  It was more of a social gathering kind of thing than a packed out bar, but than again this was a Monday night.  I imagine this was not a good gauge for the normal clientele.  Tonight though was about the food.  Five courses paired with five Dogfish Head beers.  My mind was only on the prize that was to come.

The first course was a little cocktail hour sort of thing.  The beer was DFH 60 Minute IPA.  The food choices were sweet roasted almonds, seasoned popcorn, little pork sliders, pork cracklings, and kielbasa.  The beer was a nice smooth drinking beer.  It had a nice fruity hoppy taste.  It was the perfect compliment to the kielbasa at the very least.  I think biggest standout on the tables were the fresh crispy cracklings.  More or less we are talking a fresh delicate pork skin lightly seasoned, less crisp than the bag variety and full of flavor.  If you are a pork rind fan you'll never want to go back to the bag.  Everything else was good but nothing was standout.  Then again this was just finger food to tide everyone over for the next 4 courses to come.  Being born and raised Polish I was not very impressed with the Kielbasa sorry to say.  I am completely biased on the subject though as my one true kielbasa love can only be found at State Road Meats in Parma.  The next best I have tasted was from Chef's Choice Meats in Berea.

The second course was DFH Red & White and Linguini w/Shrimp, mussels, tomato, oregano in Red & White sauce.  This was the start of the goodness.  I was expecting a very small plate but this was a very good size.  The pasta itself was incredible.  It was full of flavor, light and very refreshing.  The sauce had a nice mild tomato flavor with hints of the Red & White beer.  The shrimp and mussels were cooked to absolute perfection.  The sauce had such great flavor I wanted to steal dinner rolls from a table a few feet away to sop it all up.  The Red & White was probably my least favorite of the beers.  It is fermented in pinot noir juice.  It just wasn't enough of a beer flavor to me.  It was more like a wine that was pretending to be a beer or vice versa.  I was able to get through like half a glass.

The third course was Roast Walleye with carrots, beets, shiitake and fennel.  It was paired with Pangea.  The Pangea was a nice ale with a hint of ginger spice to it.  The beer is unique as it is made with ingredients from all 7 continents.  It was a perfect choice to go with the fish.  The walleye was light, and tender with a little crispness from the skin.  Normally I am not a fan of the walleye (I know shoot me).  It tends to be a little too high on the gamey side for me.  That was anything but the case for this amazingly done fish.  The taste was perfect, the Pangea infused sauce was exquisite.  The carrots were tender and sweet like candy.  The shiitake mushrooms were unfortunately sparse but the flavor was certainly there.  The shredded beets were a little too small and seemed to be overpowered by all the other strong flavors of the dish.  All in all this was an amazing light and refreshing course.  

The forth course was served family style.  It was a slow roasted rump roast with celery root mash, Dogfish gravy and Onion Rings.  It was paired with DFH Indian Brown Ale.  It was a hearty ale that went very well with the slow cooked roast.  The celery mash was wonderful.  The texture was creamy and flavorful.  They were rich with butter and seasoned just right.  The roast was, in a couple words, fucking incredible.  This was so tender you could cut it with a spoon.  The edges had the perfect browning and the inside was a perfect pink-brown color.  It was tender without that soupy texture you get from slow cooking at home.  The Dogfish gravy was rich with flavor and went well with the mash.  The onion rings fell a little short.  They lacked flavor and seasoning.  They were served on top of the roast which made them absorb some of the juice which took away some of the crunch.  Honestly they didn't ruin the meal by any means but they were just kind of blah.

The fifth and final course was paired with DFH Midas Touch.  It had a nice honey flavor and was as close to actual mead I have ever come.  The course itself was an amazing apricot brown sugar sorbet that was just melt in your mouth delicious.  I have never had a frozen dessert that tasted so creamy and decadent.  It was the perfect ending to the evening.  The honey peach crisp wasn't sweet enough for me.  However I have never been a fruit pie guy so I don't have much to compare it too.  I just didn't care for it that much.  I did enjoy the roasted blue cheese it was served with though.  It kind of gave it a little more flavor and made it kind of unique for me.  It's probably something I would never order off the menu though so take it for what it is worth.

See, that wasn't so painful to read right?  After reading through it I just decided I am not really a food critic.  I am more of an overall vibe, people and band critic.  That being said I had a great time.  I am sitting in this restaurant with Iron Chef Michael Symon.  Matt Harlan is an amazing Chef himself.  I was so amazed when each course came to the table I even forgot to take pictures of it.  The presentation alone was so amazing I forgot the $1,000 machine that is usually strapped to my arm anywhere else.  That's just how good this was.  Bar Symon is a great place to dine and I sat across the table from and dined with the Jonathon Sawyer, the Chef-Owner of The Greenhouse Tavern.  It was like eating with a fucking rock star.  I had incredible conversation and a great night out with the wife.  That's my real review for you right there.  I ate tons of incredible food and hung out with one of the biggest buzzworthy Chefs in Cleveland right now.  I was able to shoot the shit with Matt Harlan the man responsible for this feast between courses and that was pretty cool too.  So did I have a good time?  I had a momentous evening out for a Monday on the outskirts of Cleveland drinking incredible beer and eating amazing food.

On to the social commentary part though now.  No one really shares meals like this anymore.  Where else in the world can I sit at a table of six complete strangers who all turn out to be amazing people from different walks of life?  Applebees?  Fridays?  Hell no.  It takes an event like this to get people together, to talk about life, Cleveland, beer and food.  Food is that one thing we all have in common.  It is the thread that can sew together completely different personalities.  If someone said people are going to really read your shitty blog and it will be in print one day I would have laughed at you a couple of months ago.  If you told me I would be essentially breaking bread and toasting glasses with Iron Chef Michael Symon and Jonathon Sawyer I would have said get the fuck out of here.  Strange things happen with food as the common bond.  The real pairing here were the people for me.  That is what made the meal.  I thought I would be stuck with a bunch of stuffy armchair Iron Chef Judge asshole types.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Cleveland you never cease to amaze me.  You are a melting pot of culture and I love you for what you do to me.  

I would like to go back to Bar Symon on a non-event night.  The big board specials look amazing as does the entire menu.  They serve brunch on Sundays as well.  The layout of the restaurant itself is open and spacious.  It appears to be very handicap friendly.  The patio is very large with fire pit.  Even the patio makes you forget you are in a strip mall in Avon Lake.  Be prepared to wait a bit during peak hours.  I didn't ask about reservations but the website says "for parties of 6 or more".  Happy hour is a buck off drafts and some discounts on some bottles.  The bar is spacious and looks very comfortable, but seating is limited so get there early because once people get in there they don't want to leave.  You can get an incredible meal here for less than $20 or a burger for $11.  Brunch will run you around $10.  The service for the event was fast, friendly and courteous.  The staff was also very knowledgeable about the menu options.  Bar Symon is an oasis in Lorain County that offers affordable dining options for everyone.  You will not be disappointed, go check them out. 
                       

The Happy Dog Revisited...

I had to fight to stay in the game last Sunday.  I have been wanting to see DJ Kishka for a couple months now and he was spinning his craft at The Happy Dog.  This was a little pre-party for his upcoming Buffalo gig at Dyngus Day.  See, DJ Kishka isn't a normal DJ.  He is a one man Polka machine.  Sitting at a chair throwing back a Tyskie with a single turntable spinning Polkas, button boxes and tambourine ready to kick out the jams.  He plays popular Cleveland Polka favorites along with some really obscure gems.  See, the beauty of this is Kishka isn't some stuffy old Polock, he is the alter ego of Cleveland's Magpies keyboardist Justin Gorski.  His act is priceless.  He is funny while still being respectful to the music he plays.

The DJ Kiska outfit is basically a horrible (in a good way) fake Yiddish looking beard, a hat and some thrift store pants with suspenders and a white shirt.  He looks like something straight out of a Parma basement meets an Amish old man.  It's bizarre, yet it works so well.  He sings along to the songs, knows many of them by heart, beating along on his tambourine the whole way.  He delivers his shtick so well you forget he is 30-something year old seriously gifted musician.  He insights banter with the fans in the crowd and is beyond animated.  He plays with a single record player and talks to the crowd when he is switching over records.  Honestly if he did the whole mixing thing I don't know if it work as well.  I liked his between song banter just as much as the music he was playing.  It's the package deal and he pulls it off like a champ.   

Polka music over the years have gotten a pretty bad rap.  It's like the burning river we have been trying to hide in the Cleveland closet for years.  Polka music has been swept under the carpet of Cleveland for years.  It is great to see someone younger muscians trying to embrace it again.  We have the Chardon Polka Band, Joey Tomsick Orchestra and of course Johnny Koenig. We also have the official Polka Hall of Fame.  I think the whole white socks, black shoes stigma is over.  It's fun music.  It's party and drinking music honestly.  You can find bands like these playing all over the city and its suburbs any given weekend at Slovenian Halls and bars off the beaten path.  

I never have heard of or seen an actual Polka band at the Happy Dog.  However, it has the spirit of the old school working mans bars in Cleveland that would embrace this sort of thing.  The social halls of the past where the dock and factory workers would blow off steam and share a brew with their neighbor after a hard days work.  Maybe there was a perch fish fry or something, and working men with their families would be throwing back a P.O.C beer.  I think one of the smartest things Eric Williams did (well outside of Momocho) was to take ownership in this bar and not change it.  It remains old school.  There are some modern touches added to the decor but for the most part you can imagine this bar was probably pretty close to the same if you walked into it 40 years ago.  The rich wood bar, the paneled walls, the closet of a bath room with the grade school urinals.  It is authentic Cleveland when the local tavern was the hub of activity and the heart of the community.

They have an incredible jukebox with an eclectic mix heavy on the indie-punk tip.  The walls are adorned with incredible photos that feature Elvis Costello to Domo Kun among others.  An Elvis bust lamp sits in the corner by the pinball machines.  Booths line the walls, with some table seating in the open area of the bar.  The bar is...a giant U-shape.  However it works much better here than other places because there really is ample room to move around with the exception of a small congested area leading back to one of the bathrooms.  The sound system until recently was problematic with snaps, crackles and hissings like the old boiler in the Christmas Story house.  Recently the speakers were mounted on the ceilings and the sound is 10x's better.  So either they got a new board or the Soundman has earned his wings.  

As far as entertainment goes the Happy Dog shows incredible promise to become the Beachland Tavern of West Cleveland.  This in itself is refreshing to myself making a much shorter commute to see some of the local talent the city has to offer.  Any given weekend is a who's who of Cleveland independent music.  The stage is on the small side but works well in the space.  They offer different styles of music from a Gram Parson's Tribute, an Opry night, Kishka spinning records, to bands like the Jack Fords Playing rock and roll.  It is good to see them keeping it fresh and trying out different things.  All too often the local Cleveland taverns become to comfortable with one certain type of music.  So they cease to exist as a tavern and become that blues bar, the goth-industrial bar, that punk bar or that cover band bar.  While it is good to have those types of bars it's another to have people from all walks of life come into a place any given night.             

Now the menu of the Happy Dog is simple; Hot Dogs.  Plump, juicy, delicious all American hot dogs.  A place where they can make a tater tot a gourmet experience.  A place where they can make a hot dog a culinary masterpiece.  This is not the chili or kraut dog served up at Steve's or the Hot Dog Inn.  Those are amazing in their own way.  The Happy Dog takes this simple all American favorite and twists it to a build your own dream dog.  They have a sushi style menu where you can pick up to 50 different toppings to build your tubular masterpiece on a bun.  Kim chee, Whiz, fried egg, candy sprinkles, bacon...dear God the list goes on and on.  They even have some popular combos for those who just can't make that decision for themselves.  

I have bitched in the past about the fact it's $5.00 for a dog, but I'm over it.  I found the core of my bitterness.  I was afraid that places like Steve's and the Hot Dog Inn who have been long standing traditions in the area would have been hurt by the loss of business.  While the these three places serve hot dogs it is a different world between the three of them.  It is doubtful anyone will lose their core business.  Steve's and the Hot Dog Inn have been open for years.  You were a Steve's guy or you were a Inn guy.  I was always a Hot Dog Inn guy because my mom would take me there as a kid after trips to the ballpark or the Westside Market.  Well until there was a shooting outside of there or something back in the early 80's.  Then I rediscovered it back in the 90's.  The only thing now is there is another dog on the block and it is really just as good if not better than the others .  It's just different.  So while the blue collar Cleveland boy will always have a soft spot for the Hot Dog Inn I think the Happy Dog is now the one to beat.  However the Inn and Steve's probably aren't going to be making any changes since they have been the same for years.  The Happy Dog has a little of everything, good food, excellent beer selection, attentive servers, and great music.  It is well worth checking out. 

                        

Local Girl Gallery, Sullivan's, Trio Tavern, Manja

Sometimes I feel like I am running a marathon.  An alcohol induced relay race with friends and this city.  I want to do everything and I am no longer stable without activity of some sort.  Last night I started out at an incredible fund raiser at Linda Goik's Local Girl Gallery in Lakewood.  The Soul Food exhibit and fund raiser was to raise support and funding for Trinity Lakewood Community Outreach.  To say it was a success is an understatement.  I went in expecting to view some art, shake some hands and schmooze a bit but movement was impeded severely by the wall to wall patrons.  It was packed and I love seeing such support behind such a very worthy cause.  I was pretty much regulated to a small 4x4 patch of floor in the back of the gallery just chatting it up with friends.  I was fine with that.  As I chatted away I glanced at all the works hanging on the walls and there were some wonderful pieces.  The gallery on a normal day I would imagine to be bright and spacious.  The thing that made my entire week was being noticed as that guy from 52 Weeks of Cleveland by someone.  Mind you it was not just someone, it was a stunning female.  So, that was an added bonus for the evening and made me say wow, alright people are really reading this, and it's not just weirdo's living in their moms basement (no offense).  I would be a jerk not to drop a shameless plug for my new found friend Allison and her Fringe and Foundation Salon in my hometown of Westlake.

So after my head cleared from my ego boost and about a half hour or so at the gallery show I headed up to Madison Avenue to Sullivan's Pub to meet up with some friends.  With 24 beers on tap and bottles of whiskey hanging from the walls like fine works of art ready to be poured it was difficult making a decision of what to try out.  I went with a Murphy's Irish Red backed up with some 10 year old Bushmill's.  The bar is gorgeous with hard wood accents and very spacious.  The service and the sense of humor of our Bartender were a pleasant way to start off the night.  I was still reliving my Bottom's Up experience from last weekend when the Bartender breaks in and says, "umm, it's called Bottom's Up.  That didn't tip you off?"  Something in an Irish Bar brings out the storyteller in everyone it seems and that's what we proceeded to do for the next hour or so swap stories from everything from pot smoking with Agent Orange from an airplane Coke can years ago at Peabody's to exploits at the infamous Lido Lounge on W. 117th Street.

I didn't eat anything here tonight, however, I have in the past and I can tell you they have some great Irish fayre.  Their Boxty is some of the best around and my favorite menu item would have to be the Fish and Chips; a tempura dipped cod that tastes out of this world.  They also offer the standards of corned beef and cabbage and Shepard's pie year round.  They also host live entertainment about once a month with Cleveland Irish music legends The New Barley Corn.  It was kind of quiet last night but there were some groups of folks hanging out.  I think it is a great place for that honestly.  There is no blaring music, it is nice and bright inside and the service is excellent.  However, like most Irish Pubs you are dealing with a little bit on the expensive side to just hang out and drink black and tans all night.  I will say it seems to be much more affordable than The Harp and Flannery's though.  It is definitely worth checking out for dinner or with a group of friends for cocktails.

After an hour or so here we all headed across the street to the Trio Tavern to check out the Hellbound Grifters.  The Trio Tavern is a throw back bar from the old school beer signs that adorn the walls to the clientele.  They serve PBR drafts for a buck for the brave and your standard other beers.  One of the charming things I always liked about this joint was the old school bowling machine, but alas it is no more.  They have a giant cigar store Indian (or is it Native American?) and one of those old built in oak phone booths.  The bar area is a big old U-shape again, that I can't seem to escape lately.  They have a large open area off to the side where the band played along with some tables, chairs, dart boards and a pool table.  So in theory you can get shit faced wasted here, play pool and call a cab from the phone booth for under 20 bucks.  The service was decent enough but they close at 1am which I found odd.  

The Hellbound Grifters are a upstart 2 piece band consisting of drums, guitar and vocals.  They are trying their hand at the White Stripes, Black Keys thing by going bassless.  They weren't too bad at all.  The problem I thought was not truly having the mix down due to no sound system to speak of.  The Trio isn't really a live band bar.  There is no stage or PA system.  Anyone who would play here would have to bring their own so the mix of the vocals was upstaged by the wailing guitar and pounding drums.  They will be opening for Scoliosis Jones at the Spitfire in April so it will be interesting to hear them with real live sound.  Just seeing front man Vince's black flying V accented with white polka dots is probably worth the price of a ticket.  That is one fucked up Quiet Riot looking instrument. They played a short set that lasted about a half hour and we proceeded to close the place down at 1am.  Why 1am?  No idea, I didn't bother to ask.  We just walked on across the street to Manja. 

Manja has been a mainstay in that Lakewood-Madison district for quite some time.  However though I don't remember if they closed for a bit or what because I haven't been there in ages.  Before the Spitfire and Now That's Class came around Manja used to be the Indie-Punk hangout.  Seriously I have no idea what happened over the last few years since I have been there.  It still has the same vibe to it but a different clientele.  I was fine with that because they still remain to have one of the best jukeboxes in town.  My buddy slapped a five in that thing and we enjoyed everything from The Pixies to the man in black.  It is a small bar with normal bar seating and some living room furniture to relax on.  I think it struggles to find an identity in the area.  Is it still the hipster place it was a few years back?  Not really, but it's still a decent place to stop.  Due to it's limited size and seating I couldn't see staying here for a long period of time if it was packed.  I can't believe bands used to play here.  It's been so long I can't even remember where the hell they used to play.  

I had a pretty eventful Saturday night to say the least.  I'd love to say come follow me around next Saturday but I won't be in the state.  I am heading to Presque Isle in Erie PA to lose some money at the Casino.  I really can't wait for Cleveland to open our very own casino, but until then I will travel like it's a dirty secret to PA to get my fix on hearing them winning bells that the slots make when I hit the jackpot.  If you are in town though you seriously should go to the Beachland to get in on The Hot Rails cd release party or Parnell's to see Heelsplitter.                             

Just me bloggin' me

So I went to the Doctor today to get a routine finger prick blood test that turned into 5 vials worth at the lab.  I like my Doctor.  He is a pretty funny guy honestly.  When I complained about some arm soreness he asked how that happened.  I had to tell him the truth he's my doctor after all.  I went to a work function at Dave and Busters and seriously fucked up my arms by....playing that video boxing game.  Yeah the one with the fake gloves that you throw jabs, and uppercuts while you bob and weave.  You know the one.  Well without Mick in my corner telling me to "stick and move Rock" I made it 3 rounds.  I was proud of myself but I was fatigued like I was actually boxing without getting hit.  The outcome of this?  I am out of shape like you would not believe, and my own Doctor laughing at me for being such a walking disaster.  


So, the Doc wants to see how the ticker is doing, along with running some other tests because Diabetes is a right of passage in my family.  I already spoke in a previous post of the vertigo, which in itself sucks but I started this involuntary twitching when I yawn sometimes.  I can't recreate it either with fake yawns so he wants me to check in with a Neurologist just to see what kind of craziness this is all about.  It's not a little twitch.  It's like a full on shake, rattle and roll thing in my hand.  Now of course it is in the side of my arm where I have broken, dislocated, and sprained it several times so that makes me worry a little less.  It's the not knowing stuff that always freaks me out.  You know the "well it could be nothing at all or it could be Parkinson's" sentence.  Why not just leave out the "or it could be" part?  I am perfectly happy with it could be nothing at all. 

So after being laughed at by the Doc a little more out of the blue this time from him picturing me boxing a machine and pulling a bicep muscle he gave me the talk.  I am narrowly escaping being put on blood pressure medication and something else I blocked out.  He wants me to lose 24 pounds in 6 months which seems like a decent time frame to do so.  I started doing the whole Vegan thing in hopes that I might lose a few pounds, and that didn't really do shit.  I didn't feel any better. I didn't have more energy, and I didn't really lose any weight minus maybe a couple pounds.  

I think it is a compassionate lifestyle and I applaud any and all that live that lifestyle.  I love animals.  I am a compassionate person.  I follow Buddhist philosophy about that.  Karma, right?  I think that things such as dairy products and eggs are gifts from the animals and I don't have a problem eating that sort of thing.  I honestly could go without meat the rest of my life.  That's 50% compassion and 50% worry about what is now in the animals.  The hormones injected into them, the antibiotics, pigs that live in such a sterile environment humans can only enter their "sanctuary" wearing masks and bio-hazard suits in fear of one germ would completely wipe out the entire lot of them.  Cage free is bullshit, organic is a crock, and eating local farm raised meats and produce in Cleveland is only possible 5 or 6 months a year when the farm markets are open.   

So Vegan wasn't my thing.  The problem with any diet, be it Vegan or South Beach or Weight Watchers or Atkins I go on benders.  I crave what I can't have because it is my personality.  I could be doing great for a month and then someone waves temptation in my face and I cave.  Once I cave I know I screwed up for the week, once I screwed up for the week well fuck it, it's over and this diet sucks it doesn't work let's go get a Roman Burger.  Then it starts all over again.  I think vegan options have gotten so much better as of late it would be easy to embrace compassionate eating even a couple days a week. I like the fake chicken patties and nuggets better than the real ones.  I like a good veggie burger too, but I like it with french fries which are a vegan option, but a horrible choice.  

I love watching the celebrity folks that go on diets and lose like 50 pounds in a matter of months.  Hell, look at Matt Damon in his recent roles or even Deniro in Raging Bull.  They packed on a ton of weight and lost a ton of weight for their craft.  How did they do it?  Well, lets think about it.  They have the luxury of not working a day in their life.  They can hire a nutritionist, a personal chef and build a gym and hire the chick from the Biggest Loser to work them out while man servants fan them with palm tree leaves and women feed them grapes by hand.  They just make it so unrealistic when they say "they watch what they eat" and "work out".  

All I know is I have 6 months to lose 24 pounds, and if I don't do it I am going on a Roman Burger binge or maybe I will just find the Zen to dieting.  I don't know.  All I know is a vegan diet just isn't my thing because vegans can eat total junk food too.  I'd end up being a miserable overweight vegan.  I am going to start introducing more proteins into the diet.  I am not going to make myself suffer and learn what moderation actual means.  If I want to go out to eat somewhere I just won't make lousy options.  It's ok to slip up too just get back on the horse immediately.  I am going to "de-junk food" the house tomorrow.  If it isn't around it will make me actually have to make a conscious decision to get in the car and drive to buy junk food.  I hope in the time the shame and guilt kicks in that it will make me turn around.  My enemy is impulse, always has been.  If I learn to curb impulse I can do this.    

That is all.  I am human at times too.  It's not all rock and roll, concerts, beers, booze and good times.  It just feels good for me to read this, and if someone has something to offer me then excellent.  If not at least I can see this in print to remind me of the mission I am on.                  
  

Struttin' Cocks at the Spitfire Saloon

I must say I have not been to the Spitfire in some time.  After a lack of interest from my friends to go just hang out and chill at the Lincoln Park Pub I decided to get out of there and go see one of my Cleveland favorites The Struttin' Cocks there.  We started out at the Lincoln Park at around 8:30 and it was pretty dead.  It's honestly a nice Tremont tavern.  People tend to dive deeper into the belly of the Tremont beast on the weekends leaving the LPP as more of an afterthought.  They have great food, an excellent beer selection and the food has been great every time I have been there.  The service is always great too and I always love when Jen is behind the bar.  She wasn't last night but it was still good service.  

The layout of the bar is basically two rooms, the bar area, and a dining area with a fireplace which is a quaint touch.  The wood gives it a rustic tavern feel and it is very nondescript which gives it a more casual feel than some of the more trendy bars in the area.  They have a huge patio for the spring and summer months which also is kind of nondescript.  However while it kind of lacks character it doesn't lack charm.  I think they could really do some minor cosmetic upgrades to the place to make it look a little better.  The lighting is a little to dim in the bar area for me and that has a lot to do with the dark wood and paint choice.  This place is jammed packed on Tuesday Taco night where they have specials on Mexican beers and well tacos (duhhhh).  The tacos are pretty damn good as is everything on the menu.  I really enjoy hanging out here for a quiet night out especially in the spring and summer months to play some pool and just hang out on the spacious patio.  I'd really like to see more live entertainment here.  I think it is the perfect place for it, but maybe due to regulations in the area they can't do it or something.  A nice acoustic solo artist, maybe an Irish band or something would be pretty cool on the patio in the summer or even over by the fireplace in the colder Cleveland months.

After sitting and waiting like a nerd on prom night for a couple hours with no one showing up to join us we decided to go up to the Spitfire to go check out the Struttin' Cocks.  A private party was just starting to fill in the LPP too so it was the perfect time to make an exit.  The Spitfire Saloon is located right on West 117th and Franklin.  They have a very small parking lot and the street parking is always difficult.  I can't fault them for that but unfortunately it sucks at times to find a spot.  The bar itself is a dive.  It's a punk rock bar and shows all the wear of a punk rock bar.  It's walls are painted black the bathrooms are adorned with graffiti and bumper stickers.  The walls have old records on them hung as art, and band stickers are plastered on many of the walls.  Local artists also use the wall space to hang up their craft which is usually pretty amazing.  Sean Burns art was hanging tonight and Burns, for the record is one of Cleveland's finest around.  

The bar itself is huge. Not the space, the actual bar.  Its giant U-shape takes up the majority of the entire bar.  I personally hate the U-Shape bar.  I find the monstrosity of them to be annoying and a waste of space.  However this beast of a bar predates the Spitfire so it's what they had to work with.  Had they had a bunch of cash to put into this place I am pretty sure they might have went a different direction because the space is on the small side.  They have some booths for seating on the left side of the bar as well as stools that go all the way around the giant U.  They have a free jukebox filled with punk rock classics built into the wall which is pretty cool, and a small DJ area where the great Larry Szyms and other locals spin their craft.  

The vibe, and the decor as well as the clientele is punk rock but honestly everyone is friendly as can be.  You'll see guys in GG Allin shirts, and girls in roller-girl attire as well as just regular folks like myself, but mainly punk is the thing here.  The bar staff is pretty quick and very friendly.  The bartender last night I would seriously put next to a Suicide Girl any day of the week.  Such a great change of pace from seeing the rah-rah cheerleader types of other bars.  Cute girls behind the bar is always good for business, but cute girl with tats that is friendly and quick is a giant bonus.  Her male counterpart was just as good too slinging the booze.  They have a huge selection of beers from the downright shitty to some great high end micros.  Two giant flat screens show whatever they feel like from the ball game to Jackass on both sides of the bar.  The stage area is tucked away in the corner and is now fenced in which I wasn't a fan of at all.  I just don't get the fenced in part.  Is it for safety or what is the point of it?  I just don't like the look of it.  If it has to be there for whatever reason my bad but I think it's ridiculous.  Due to the big U-bar you can only watch the bands right in front of the stage which can get a little rough.  To say the sound is loud is an understatement.  It is ear piercing, can't hold a conversation loud, but it's Cleveland's own little CBGB's so it is kind of expected.

Rustbelt Homewreckers took the stage first at around 11pm, and played about 45 minutes.  I think the sound was a nice blend of old school punk and country without being too cowpunk.  Maybe think Mojo Nixon hopped up on amphetamines.  This 4-some from PA had a great sound that really got the crowd at the bar ready for the headlining Struttin' Cocks.  The lead singer role switched multiple times between the band which kept it interesting.  Aaron the drummer had the Oi thing going with the shaved head and belting out vocals on the more punk tracks.  The dude looks like an ass kicker, but honestly seemed like a stand up guy after talking when they were done playing.  The bass was assaulted with lightning fingers by a cat named Josh, and Mike handled the rhythm details like a champ.  Front and center was Mick who looked like fucking Grizzly Adams slinging the guitar and singing like a man possessed.  

After a short break the Struttin' Cocks took the stage.  These are local guys who pretty much sneeze out punk rock anthems.  Every song is 3 minute boozed fueled sing a long from "I'm Going to Jail" to "Get Outta Cleveland".  People were climbing the cage, and an open mic was used as a backup mic for the local fans who mostly are in punk or garage bands themselves.  On the first note everyone in the bar went front and center to not only listen to but become a part of the show.  Beer spills, accidental and planned, were enough to soak multiple people including the band.  The band themselves go by stage names, which as I have said before I don't particularly care for.  These guys are really great and don't need to hide behind pseudonyms they are that good.  I totally get it but that doesn't mean I need to like it.  The set was very tight but maybe about 45 minutes.  However they pack more energy in 5 minutes of their set than most bands around the Cleveland area.  It blows my mind these guys aren't on the Warped Tour or at the very least opening across the country for a bigger national act.  Their songs and music are infectious.  They should be on a label and selling a bunch of records.  They are a must see if you are in Cleveland and can be found at multiple venues in the area any given weekend.  

After the set was over and the extent of the hearing damage could be diagnosed we decided to head down the street to a place called Bottoms Up.  Bottoms Up used to be this total blue collar NASCAR place so I thought it be a nice way to end the night on a quiet note.  Well...it changed a bit since I was last there a few years back.  Bottom's Up, which the name alone should have clued me in, is a gay bar.  Gay Bar as in a cage behind the bar with a dude dressed only in a tiny blue thong banana hammock gay bar.  I am the most non-homophobic person in the world but the shirtless bartenders and overall vibe of the place was pretty much beyond a 360 from where we just came.  After a cocktail and a cherry bomb served to us by aforementioned cage dancer, who by the way could have balanced the tray on his erection, we were all set to go back to the Spitfire to end it on a less surreal note and that we did.  

So 3 bars and 2 bands in one night running the gambit from a quiet Tremont tavern, to a loud punk rock bar to a surreal experience at a local gay bar ain't too bad for a nights work.  It just goes to say Cleveland has a little something for everyone on any given night.  Cleveland is a diverse community that seems to be tolerant and accepting of everyone.  I had a great time the majority of the night and I think all of these places are worth checking out depending what mood you are in.  You can go for a low key night at the Lincoln Park Pub, a loud wild night of punk rock at the Spitfire, or get your groove on to the dance music of Bottom's Up and see cage dancers in blue thongs.  It just goes to show Cleveland is a melting pot of different styles and cultures but no matter where you go you are bound to find a good time.             

Smedley's and the Jack Fords

I just can't get my head around this thing today.  I have been looking at the blank white of this new post screen for going on three hours.  My shit just ain't working right today.  I have a case of the cobwebs of the head or something.  It wasn't a drinking thing or anything honestly I just have been feeling off.  Vertigo spells a couple times last week coupled with this fatigue that I felt like I had to battle just to keep my eyes open the better part of last week.  Like I said before it happens from time to time, but I still am going to try and bring the "A" game so to speak.  The Jack Fords certainly did last night at Smedley's.  It's the least I can do.

Smedley's...ahhhh an oasis on a street filled with the beautiful people bars across the street.  Kamm's Corner has turned around by leaps and bounds since the old days when it used to be pretty much dead.  The most action you could find was down the road over at the Public House.  Now it is a mini West 6th street kind of scene over there.  Honestly the bars across the street are not my kind of thing.  I have been a couple times when coaxed out my friend's but it's not my style.  I think there are excellent bars over there I just don't like the high fashion crowd.  I don't fit in there too well and feel like a dirtball at times.  It's not like I wear ripped jeans and white shirts with pit stains or anything, but I just feel out of place in that type of environment.  I honestly commend them for what they brought to the area.

However, as long as I can remember Smedley's has been there.  It was called a couple different things over the years.  I used to live down the road from it when I was in Fairview and would hit it for a cheap karaoke night back in the day.  I don't recall what incarnation or name it was back at that time though.  I just remember they had cheap drinks and great food specials, and I would throw darts there.  Not much has changed.  The drinks and food are still cheap.  I think my tab was under $30 for more than a couple rounds between friends.  The space itself is pretty big; long bar, small stage and dance floor area, multiple tables, pool table in the back.  They took out the old school bowling machine which I was a little sad about but we made due.  

The walls are adorned with biker memorabilia, military flags and regalia.  To say this bar is pro-military is like saying I am pro-Cleveland music.  They beyond support our troops, they embrace them with open arms.  The crowd is mixed but heavy on the biker thing.  Not the hobbyist type, but the real deal.  We are talking the guys you would see as Extras in Easy Rider or running security at Altamont.  I am not saying Hells Angels here, I don't know that, but these are some serious bikers.  God love 'em, they are nice people too.  Some of them look scary as fuck, but no one really bothered anyone.  I guess there were a couple of altercations there last night but they were so subdued I didn't really notice.  I think that is pretty much because of Stibbs behind the bar.  If they had a photo in a dictionary for "people you probably shouldn't fuck with", you would see a picture of Stibbs.  Stibbs is a mountain of a man and seems to be well respected behind the bar.  He is a great bartender #1 and acts as Bouncer and general keeper of the peace.  

I never once felt unsafe at this place at all.  Everyone I talked to was friendly and they even joked about the man purse I carry that is my camera bag.  So, I paint a picture of a pretty gritty place but honestly it is what it is. It is gritty.  It's a dive biker/military/law enforcement/firefighter joint.  If you walk in their looking for trouble it more than likely is going have no trouble finding you.  That being said I don't think many are stupid enough to do so.  On the other hand it is a great place to drink and eat on the cheap and honestly a great place to see a local band.  That is what we were there for, to see The Jack Fords bring that shit home, and did they ever.

The Jack Fords, 2007's Best Rock and Roll band, as voted by the now defunct Free Times is the reason we decided to come to Smedley's.  The Jack Fords mix in some down home southern rock, blended with a little alt-country and finish it off with some dirty blues.  They are rock and roll personified and pull it off with a swagger that would rival the Stones.  They ran through 20 plus songs in what seemed to be a never ending first set.  The 20 plus, I need to add were all originals and incredible. I would clock the first set in at an hour and a half to pretty close to 2 hours.  The second set was chocked full of covers to appease the masses as the dance floor was packed by the end of the night.  They did it all from Johnny Cash to The Band to Cheap Trick.  This was a great warm up for what will be an awesome show for the release of their new CD The Way Things Should Be May 8th at the Happy Dog.  

To call them a hard working group of musicians is putting it mildly.  Singer-Guitarist Brent Kirby can be seen solo all over town or playing with The New Soft Shoe doing all Gram Parsons material.  Bass player Ed Sotelo can be found laying down fat beats in The Fords and playing with Cobra Verde, The New Lou Reeds and his newly formed Beachland Lottery League band.  Jim Wall lays down the drum tracks.  Jim's resume reads like a who's who of Cleveland blues playing with the Bad Boys of Blues, and a stint sitting in with Big Brother and the Holding Company.  He was also a member of the touring Love, Janis show.  Bobby Latina plays he guitar like a man on a mission.  He is a great player and to call him animated would be an understatement.  He's a ham, he knows it, and I am good with that.  The bands he plays with or played with were all pretty damn solid.  We are talking The Cowslingers, Hayshaker Jones, and The Whiskey Daredevils.  

Add all this talent into one band or you are in for one hell of a ride taking you from dirty blues that would get a standing ovation from the Black Keys to alt-country numbers that would make even Wilco jealous.  They have an energy to them that keeps people enthralled and the have built up a solid fan base in a pretty short amount of time.  How a band like this remains unsigned should be a crime, but it makes for a night on the cheap for entertainment an easy thing.  There was no cover last night and you can see them around town for under 5 or 10 bucks.  I would not only say go see them, but go see them now when they are truly at home playing at a true rock and roll bar like Smedley's.  They look and feel like they are at home playing places like this.  Smedley's is a great place to check out combined with a truly great rock and roll band like The Jack Fords made it even that much better.                                 

I like the Oscars...

I'm not like one of those Oscar party people or anything, but I really enjoy film.  As soon as the Oscars become like the Grammys or they bring back Billy Crystal I will probably stop watching.  This really has nothing to do with Cleveland but I thought I would share my picks for the big ones this year...but impress your friends and go lay down some bets in Vegas because my shit is that dead on.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock The Blind Side

Best Director: Kathyrn Bigelow The Hurt Locker

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz in Basterds

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique in Precious

Best Animated Feature: Up

Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air

Best Original Screenplay: Inglorious Basterds

Best Original Song: The Weary Kind Ryan Bingham Crazy Heart

Best Visual Effects: Avatar

Best Documentary: The Cove

Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria

Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker

Best Art Direction: Avatar

Best Foreign Language: The White Ribbon

In other news Saturday I will be at Smedley's.  It's a little dive over on Kamm's Corner.  The Jack Fords are playing.  Come say hello if you get the chance.

MC