The Wayback Machine

So a friend of mine was playing out last night and an old friend since I was 5 years old had the itch to go out with the wife.  Wonderful lovely people.  The suggestion came out to head down to the Cadillac Ranch.  My friends wife likes to go out and dance and whatnot.  Me, not so much of a dancer.  As a matter of fact one of the last times I recall even dancing was at The Chamber and that at least 10 years ago.  And you know what happened that night?  Well honestly I don't remember much either, however I do remember dancing with some random girl and then out of nowhere just like in the movies my head snaps back a little after someone sucker punched me in the face.  I pretty much laughed it off because it really didn't hurt but it was something out of a dream sequence.  All I remember was shaking it off, laughing a little thinking holy shit I just got jacked in the face.  I soon spotted the little goth fucker running away out the door to make an escape.  

I haven't been back to the Chamber since to my knowledge that wasn't under duress or force, and I didn't go to the Cadillac Ranch either if you are still guessing.  Baby steps might get me to the Cadillac Ranch.  I just don't think I am ready for bull riding, bad music and overpriced cocktails. I just am not a big Friday night person for whatever the reason, but I wanted to have an early night, a little music and hanging with friends.  Back in the day when I was the average age of the clientele of the bar we chose I would hit up Fagan's, The Basement, various bars in the Flats and any one of the bars in the Lakewood area.  I went to a lot of great places when I was in my 20's.  I used to love the Lift, 9 of Clubs-Alter House, Metropolis, Smart Bar pretty much all the hip wannabe hip clubs with doormen and trendsetters.  So to think back and reflect on it I was probably "that guy" back then.  Now I am that old guy or something.   Last night I decided to get nostalgic and went to one of the dumps I used to frequent; Around the Corner in Lakewood.

Well it's not really a dump anymore.  The patio is huge, they expanded the thing into a warehouse space in the back, they have a party room off to another side but the main room looks very much the same minus the rickety chairs and tables.  By the same I mean it still has that rustic looking ugly green wall paper and looks like a Yacht Rock bar.  I never really did ever like to come here to be quite honest when I was younger and I really don't have much intention of going back there as a hey I really want to go to Around the Corner kind of night.  The tree still grows on the outskirts of the patio which I always thought was silly but now I appreciated it as the sole standing reminder of the place I remember.  

The servers were great, I believe ours was named Vanessa and she was attentive and as sweet as pie.  Same with all of the bar staff I came into contact with.  Service is great.  The bar is comfortable and the band was great.  It was Chris Allen and Brent Kirby doing their acoustic kind of thing.  Two incredibly talented musicians up there on stage.  No one was really paying much attention to them though fortunately for folks that wanted to do so.  There were very few people in what once was a packed to capacity room 20 years ago.  I only saw Chris a couple of times jump on stage at a couple other shows but he is a very talented songwriter.  I actually heard him unknowingly on NPR when they were doing a special on The Ohio City Singers Christmas CD.  This cat has worked with folks like Don Dixon and Mitch Easter.  To put that in layman's terms these are the guys behind some of the best records by bands like REM, Counting Crows, and Pavement.  Tonight he worked with Brent Kirby blending together a great Americana set including originals from both of their many releases and covering everyone from Springsteen to Uncle Tupelo.

So where is the problem?   Seems like I had a decent night, right?  Staying in the main original barroom was fine it was anywhere outside that general area I took issue in.  Not because it of the bar itself it was more of a people thing for me.  Old man Jason just wasn't hip to hanging with the much younger crowd.  The last time I saw that many Ed Hardy T's was in the TJ Maxx clearance bin.  The Baby Gap sized shirts on these cats was disturbing to me.  The girls weren't much better and there really is something to be said for some sense of modesty.  It wasn't everyone in the bar but apparently the hip fashion trend for most is looking like that Situation dago and Snooki from the Jersey Shore, which for the record I only watched once, but was well enough for me to understand it.  Most of the people were orange in hue from the fake baking and just had a presence that shouted "Yes, I am a douchebag".  The girls...ah the girls.  Yeah lots of cute girls but the titty popping low cut stuff on some of you was a bit much even for me.  The super short skirts that leave nothing to the imagination I think could have been worn by strippers at The Lido.  Again...old man 52 Weeks of Cleveland just found some of the folks a tad over the top.  

The bathroom...ah yes the bathroom.  There are a couple of them.  The one in the basement is disgusting.  There was piss all over the floor and it is a giant 3 urinal stainless steel troff thing.  It is a hideous metal beast that splashes urine all over the fucking place.  Someone did the honors of puking all over it on one end early on in the night and as the night went on it was never cleaned up.  Beyond the puke it was still disgusting with piss all over the floor.  Just seriously pay better attention to the cleanliness as every so often you might just have a grown adult at your bar in the evening.  So the bathroom is strike 2, the people were strike 1, strike 3 for me was the fact they serve everything, minus bottled beer out of plastic cups.  Seriously Around the Corner folks I am not at some frat party and as an adult I am not coming to your bar to drink in a plastic fucking cup.  I was drinking Tequila rocks, lime.  It does not belong in a plastic cup.  For that matter neither does a pint of Guinness. Fuck it...none of it belongs in a plastic cup.  

Add to the fact I kind of wanted to watch some of the Tribe game they either don't have Fox Sports Ohio there or they couldn't find it on TV either way that was kind of silly.  To end the night off the Bouncer comes through the bar like a deranged maniac with a bull horn shoeing people out like cattle.  Really?  You seriously need a bull horn?  I so wanted to shove that thing straight up the guys ass. Around the Corner is like this training camp for the people who aren't quite ready to take their douchebaggery to the West 6th Street level.  I imagined the Pink Floyd meat grinder from the wall just churning out preprocessed popped collar, orange hued, cleavage popping, 3 sizes too small shirted guys and girls getting them ready to send them out to West 6th.  Do what you are doing Around the Corner, you obviously are making some coin and have a lot of fans.  The place was pretty crowded most of the night.  However, probably not going to get me back in there any time soon.