Cinema Wasteland & Fat Heads

Well I probably will make this one brief because honestly I wasn't 100% wowed by the Cinema Wasteland experience.  You see all these crazy fun festivals for horror, sci-fi and comics in the bigger cities and while this con (con is short for convention for those less geeky) is pretty cool it just didn't have that same mystique for me.  I don't want to say it was bad because it still was pretty cool but you more or less paying $20 to get in to spend more money.  I know the owner of the con, actually let me correct myself it is a movie and memorabilia expo, needs to make money or cover costs but $20 for what you got was a little on the high side.  There were most definitely some stand outs at the show but for the most part the vendors on a scale of wow to blah were just meh.  I think you really need to be a huge fan.  I mean like Über-super fan into it.  You need to be in there searching for that one DVD to add to your collection or know what you really want.  I was just kind of into it.  I like horror films a lot honestly but I am not like a super fan geek.

That being said, I spent well over $100 in merch and 1 autograph.  So I did actually buy some stuff.  There was a cool T-shirt table that sold vintage style punk T's from Dead Kennedy's to T.S.O.L and everything in between you can check them out online.  They even have stuff that would fit my svelte frame.  (FTP Ink)  There were various other local production film companies and we picked up different 3 DVD's from them (support your local Zombies dammit!).  I am sure they are going to be absolutely wonderful.  There were your general creppy Zombie folk dressed up in incredible makeup too.  However for as much good there was there were also tables of things only a collector would dig.  If you were looking for a certain movie you probably could have found it here and more than likely not have spent much more than $10 for it.  Akron's Son of Ghoul was there selling his flicks, and some great old school Cleveland Akron classics too.  The guy honestly is a class act and all around great guy.  

The theme was Zombie for the Expo and they had some of the "greats" and some of the "really?".  I am a fan of Tom Savini and he was there signing stuff.  He is an incredible makeup artist and horror actor and I don't know if he just wasn't into it but he was kind of quiet to the point I sort of thought he was kind of a jerk.  I felt like I was really putting him out to get a photo with my wife.  He didn't personalize my autograph or even ask, just signed it.  Maybe he is just a quiet guy.  I don't know but I was a little disappointed.  A friend of mine who has met him in the past had the opposite experience.  So who knows maybe he was having a bad day or whatever.  Honestly I knew of the other folks signing but $20 an autograph for someone that was in like 2 minutes of a horror flick I liked was a little silly to pay.  Jim Krut who will forever be known as the Helicopter Zombie from Dawn of the Dead was pretty much one of the coolest ones and was more than willing to chat about his roles old and new.  It was pretty cool talking to him for a few minutes.  I always feel weird chatting up celebrities (B-list or C-list) but he was super cool to talk to.  He has such a passion for his craft you would have sworn he won an Oscar.  

The stand out merch table for me and many other had to have been Cleveland's own Jeff Hartz.  Jeff owns buzz-works which does some pretty sweet Gothic art and collectible stuff.  He also scored the creepy Zombie Influx CD which is a must for anyone that is looking for that creepy Halloween background music.  Jeff has a voice you can't mistake and he does the Public Service Announcements on the CD that add to the overall vibe of creepy.  The premise is a full on Zombie invasion with eerie layers of atmospheric soundscapes coupled with the occasional frantic PSA's of a world taken over by the dead.  It takes creepy to a whole new level with the help of long time horror music collaborators Joseph Vargo and William Piotrowski of Nox Arcana.  This is no cutesy Monster Mash thing.  This is a balls out creep-fest.  Aside from the horror scores Jeff has some great handmade mask work along with your general freaky gargoyle, monster, and horror sculptures.  He is super affordable too and well worth checking out.  

The one thing we really managed to do was scare up an appetite after a couple hours at the Expo.  (insert canned laugh track here).  Fat Head's Saloon opened recently in North Olmsted and is seriously 5 minutes from our house so we thought we would finally give it a try.  Yes it is a chain.  Yes it started in Pittsburgh (boooooooooo!), but it's actually pretty damn good.  The restaurant itself is huge.  It used to be Danny Boy's Farm Market which I really miss.  It used to be such a great local market.  Now it's a nice giant brewery.  The bar stretches for what seems to be a mile, and there is ample seating in the bar, the main dining area and a patio.  The money they must have put into this place was well spent because it looks incredible.  However I will say one thing when it is not packed it looks very empty.  I didn't have any beer.  I just wasn't in the beer mood.  We just came to have lunch and catch the end of the Tribe game.

The portions are huge.  Seriously an appetizer could easily be considered a meal in itself.  We started with the Parma Karma.  This $9.95 beast of an appetizer came with a char-grilled brat, a banger, and kielbasa.  On the side you get three sauteed pierogies served on top of a mountain of onions.  They come with a very mild horsey dipping sauce and Bertman's Stadium mustard.  The sausage trio was very good.  It was hard to distinguish the brat from the banger.  Oh, hell I have no idea what a banger is and I am trying hard to not throw in some sort of banger your mom joke here so let me just get that out of the way.  All I know was the kielbasa was very flavorful, and one of the gray tubers was incredible while the other was a little mealy.  I couldn't tell you which was which though.  The pierogies were stuffed with potato and perfectly done.  

As if I didn't eat enough already I moved on to an enormous sandwich called the Cuyahoga.  This was one of those we are going to give you a bun just to mess with you because there is no way in hell you can pick it up with your hands burger served with fries and a ranch dipping sauce.  So what is on the Cuyahoga you ask?  It is a giant burger smothered in pulled pork swimming in their Beasty BBQ Sauce.  But wait there's more!  It is topped with melted Swiss and covered in what seemed to be 500 jalapenos.  I am accustomed to ordering something "spicy" or "hot" and being disappointed.  This Beasty BBQ sauce is hot. It's burn your mouth hot, but not wipe your brow sweating hot.  There is a sweet tangy flavor to the sauce that is still there one bite then an ass kicking smack in your face burst of heat in another.  It is definitely a knife and fork burger unless you want to look and act like a complete hillbilly which they give you extra napkins for just in case.  I think Fat Heads is worth a try, a little pricey but the portions are ridiculous.